LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD, DO GOOD Part 2: Who Do I Dress for?

An inspiring series on developing a style that expresses who you are, an enjoyable relationship with your clothes, and the rewarding satisfaction of making sustainable fashion choices. 

By Helen Redfern, founder and creative director of Green Heart Collective and manager of the Green Heart shop on Gateshead High Street. Helen combines her passion for clothes with a passion for the health of this wonderful world in which we live. Speaking from her personal experience of exploring her own style, Helen aims to inspire others to develop the confidence to express their identity and values through what they wear in a fun and affirming way.

Part 2: Who Do I Dress For?

Don’t try to tell me that clothes don’t matter to you.

Tell me this: where would we be without them?

We all wear clothes. We have to. Clothes are like a second skin. We all get dressed every day. We all choose what to wear every day. 

And so firstly on the simplest of levels, I dress for myself. I dress to protect my body, to stay warm and dry, to shield my skin from the sun’s rays. I dress to cover the parts of my body I don’t want to expose to the world.

That’s the baseline for us all.

But for me, getting dressed is so much more than that. I dress to express myself. I dress to indulge my creativity. I dress to enjoy colour and texture and shape (even smell!), the whole sensory package.

I also dress to feel amazing. To be honest, I don’t feel amazing every day. Not even close. My niece’s wedding 3 months ago was the last time I felt truly amazing in what I was wearing. 

That whole process of trying to find the perfect wedding outfit became a bit of a trial. I was committed to buying preloved, that was non negotiable. I ordered a Thought green and blue floral dress and some apple green Heavenly Feet Shoes on Vinted, but the shoes didn’t match the dress and the dress was too long in the body. The ensemble was OK but nothing more than OK. I felt frumpy and old in it. So I ordered a Louche teal net skirt, again from Vinted, which I was confident would work, because I’ve a track record of feeling great in net skirts. I bought two tops and a pair of purple Heavenly Feet heels, but the tops didn’t work with the skirt and didn’t fit right. I altered one of the tops to make it shorter, but wasn’t happy with the alteration. And somehow the skirt wasn’t right either - maybe I’ve lost my love for tulle skirts. And then I remembered this vintage blue lace dress of my mum’s that I’d worn for my 50th birthday. I tried it on and boom! That was it! I felt amazing. The dress fitted so well and the purple shoes worked with it. I knew immediately that this was what I was going to wear. The decision was intuitive, wholly based on how I felt in it. I also loved the idea of carrying a part of my mum with me to my niece’s wedding. That felt super special too.

I received so many compliments on that day. This positive feedback reinforced my choice of outfit and boosted my confidence. Even at my age (yes, the self doubt always creeps in), I can look amazing.

So whilst I would 100% assert that I dress for myself, it’s more complicated than that. Let’s face it, we do all judge a book by its cover, however much we try not to. It’s human nature. First impressions count. According to a study by psychologist Alex Todorov, it takes one tenth of a second to form an impression of someone based on how they look (pg 33, ‘Big Dress Energy’ by Shakaila Forbes Bell). And OK yes, we sometimes then get to know someone better and change our opinion of them that was formed in that initial second, but not always. Sometimes that initial second is enough to convince us not to get to know someone at all.

I dress to express myself. But I also accept that the way I dress will affect what others think of me, how they treat me, how much they respect me and listen to me. The way I dress will attract like-minded people to me. People who like the way I dress will want to get to know me. If my clothes define and express me, then I will be attracted to others by what they wear. I remember the first time I saw my friend Helen in a narrow school corridor at Parents Evening and there was just something about the way she looked (all I can remember now is a crocheted beanie hat!) that made me immediately want to get to know her. Fifteen years later, we are still great friends and have shared many adventures, encouraging each other to experiment with clothes and develop our own style. Call it shallow if you want, but our friendship is far from shallow and believe me, you also do this all the time without thinking.

Our Clothes Speak for us

The clothes we wear are tools of communication. Without the need for words or actions, our clothes speak for us. Take power dressing for example - how I hate that term, but it’s still a thing. Think shoulder pads, tailored trouser suits, killer heels…whether we like it or not, power dressing works. There’s research to back it up. What we wear affects how much respect someone will have for us. It’s all about the tailoring and fit, finding clothes that look like they have been made especially for you (if you’re skilled at sewing, then alterations are your best friend). It doesn’t end there though. It’s important to inject some personality into your outfit with the right accessories and jewellery. It all matters.

Power dressing does nothing for me, but I do believe in dressing for the event. In the lead up to my week-long trial for my involvement in climate activism last year, I thought long and hard about what I would wear each day. I wore tailored trousers and jackets, with colourful blouses in comfortable (and comforting) fabrics. I bought a simple silver Laura Ashley watch for the occasion. I needed clothes that would give me confidence, feel comfortable, make me appear reliable and trustworthy and express the real me. What I wore helped me feel grounded and hopefully created the impression I wished to convey.

Every day, every look, every outfit, I tread a fine line between dressing for myself and being open to the feedback of others. It can be paralysing to live in fear of what others think about what we wear. That’s why so many of us play it safe so much of the time. But it can actually be incredibly liberating to embrace the impression that you create as an expression of your true self. I’ve been auditing the contents of my wardrobe recently and if I’m unsure of an item for any reason, I wear it and listen out for any positive comments - and if I don’t receive any by the end of the day, the item will be passed on for someone else to enjoy!

Read More: How to Create Your 'Wellbeing Wardrobe'

Action Point: 

Think about the last time you felt amazing - what were you wearing? What made this look so special? What other clothes do you already have that are a similar colour, fabric or style?

Next time you wear an outfit that you feel confident in, ask yourself: Is this look expressing me? And what do others say (ask people you trust to give you an honest opinion)?

Start compiling a list of ‘looks’ that attract you to other people. How much are these colours and styles reflected in your own wardrobe?

Have you read the first part of this series yet?: Look Good Feel Good Do Good Part 1: I am What I Wear